A few of those on my f-list (omizu and leafy_girl come to mind) have been making lists of all the things on their plates, and I am an unoriginal hack, so here is mine!

1. Finish (and, uh, start) HinaSaku Abduction!fic.
For the most part, I know what I want to do and how it plays out in my head, but I seriously just haven't had time to start writing it. Because it's femme!slash and not very popular, the pressure's off me a little bit. I'm looking forward to seeing how everybody answers this prompt! February 15--> A GOOD DAY.

2. Finish chapter three of APFN.
Because I like to torture myself, I've included the character that I think is the absolute hardest to write (Quatre) in this next part and he's featured fairly prominently. YOU ARE SO DIFFICULT, 04. I have about 1/2 written so far, but want to get this out ASAP--the last chapter went up a little over a month ago, eek.

3. Finish prompts from the Fic Request meme.
I just knocked out Clear's YamaSasu (Clear, what the hell, that was so hard) yesterday. I find that with these little one-shots, it's a different kind of pressure because I'm writing it for someone else (PPL THAT I CARE ABOUT THANX GAIZ) and I want to like it and want them to like it, too. <3 I filled the last slot with the genderswap!Kakashi fic that I have been promising sureasdawn for nine thousand years, so all my slots are filled (heh heh), thanks, f-list! I LOVE YOU GUYS AN UNHEALTHY AMOUNT. Next is writing for FFVII for the first time (oh boy), and moderndayportia's YamaSaku.

4. Finish draft of first six chapters of untitled Kakasaku long!ass!fic.
I'm more comfortable with the one-shot format (obviously, guh), so I've been challenging myself with this monster fic and APFN as an experiment for me in writing longer fic with more attention to plot than I have been writing in the past. I'm aware that most of my fic are more character study / interaction and lack a strong plot to keep it all together. I've written almost 28,000 words of it so far which is RIDICULOUS for me (and, I acknowledge, quite plebeian to the likes of some of you), and I was slowing down a little, which is why I really wanted to do the fic request meme to begin with--to get me out of this plot / world / mindfuck that I've created and write something fresh again.

5. Make my house look like I live in it.
I'm still only about 50% done with the new place, and there's just shit everywhere that needs to be thrown out / placed somewhere that makes better sense / put away where I'll remember it.

6. Finish my portfolio.
It's kind of pointless, because I have a job and everything, but I would like something nice to give to my mother ("HAY MOM HEER IZ $40,000 PORTFOLIO, LULZ!!!") and others who want to see what has consumed my life for the past two years. I might end up posting it here. I'm building the portfolio case myself, binding it myself, etc, so it takes some craft that I'm not used to, but I'm anal particular about how my work is presented and how it represents my point of view.

7. Take care of myself better.
Since 2010, I've been skipping meals, not sleeping, and generally exhausting myself. It's like 5 in the morning right now and I'm not even tired because I've been up all night the past week. No more.


I WILL CONQUER YOU, LIFE. IN LIST FORM.

Title: Ghost
Author: a_lifestyle
Fandom: Naruto (YamaSasu)
Rating: Hard R (Sexin'.)
Words: 514
Summary: ( They search desperately for a part of him—a blink of a memory, the sound of a forgotten dream. )

I cannot get over how good this is. I've watched it at least 10 times now and it still beats up my heart every time.



I'm fortunate to be in a field of smart thinkers!!!

Accident, Mass. Ave
—Jill McDonough

I stopped at a red light on Mass. Ave.
in Boston, a couple blocks away
from the bridge, and a woman in a beat-up
old Buick backed into me. Like, cranked her wheel,
rammed right into my side. I drove a Chevy
pickup truck. It being Boston, I got out
of the car yelling, swearing at this woman,
a little woman, whose first language was not English.
But she lived and drove in Boston, too, so she knew,
we both knew, that the thing to do
is get out of the car, slam the door
as hard as you fucking can and yell things like What the fuck
were you thinking? You fucking blind? What the fuck
is going on? Jesus Christ! So we swore
at each other with perfect posture, unnaturally angled
chins. I threw my arms around, sudden
jerking motions with my whole arms, the backs
of my hands toward where she had hit my truck.

But she hadn't hit my truck. She hit
the tire; no damage done. Her car
was fine, too. We saw this while
we were yelling, and then we were stuck.
The next line in our little drama should have been
Look at this fucking dent! I'm not paying for this
shit. I'm calling the cops, lady. Maybe we'd throw in a
You're in big trouble, sister, or I just hope for your sake
there's nothing wrong with my fucking suspension, that
sort of thing. But there was no fucking dent. There
was nothing else for us to do. So I
stopped yelling, and she looked at the tire she'd
backed into, her little eyebrows pursed
and worried. She was clearly in the wrong, I was enormous,
and I'd been acting as if I'd like to hit her. So I said
Well, there's nothing wrong with my car, nothing wrong
with your car...are you OK? She nodded, and started
to cry, so I put my arms around her and I held her, middle
of the street, Mass. Ave., Boston, a couple blocks from the bridge.
I hugged her, and I said We were scared, weren't we?
and she nodded and we laughed.

Title: The Way It Has To Be
Author: a_lifestyle
Fandom: Gundam Wing (3x4)
Rating: PG
Words: 969
Summary: ( Should he expect normalcy, now that he flies on passenger shuttles instead of mobile suits? )

Title: We Are Still Standing
Author: a_lifestyle
Fandom: Naruto (HinaSaku)
Rating: PG
Words: 805
Summary: ( Hyuuga Hinata is not a weak woman. She isn’t falling apart; just a little broken. )

Hey, y'all. I know that we're in all sorts of poorness right now, but if you can help, listen up!

I know there are a few Lady Gaga fans out there, so if you didn't know about it, today is Gaga for Haiti day. If you buy anything from her online store today (or if you're lucky enough to be in attendance for her last Radio City show tonight), 100% of the merch and ticket sales are going to help relief efforts in Haiti.

Click here! I found things for as little as $5. Anyone else who isn't a Gaga fan, but would still like to help, please find a way--they really need any help they can get right now.

What I did and what I am doing today:

1) Cleaned up dog vomit. My dog is sicky sickerton and I've been trying to feed her chicken and rice and water. Going to the vet tomorrow maybe. Poor doggie.

2) Baked this pie:

for my friends Pie Elephant Party.

3) Writing fic while cleaning my house. This is the good life.

4) Watching Up on Blu-Ray, but fast forwarding through the beginning, because it just makes me too sad.

5) Catching up with White Collar.

Because I want GW femme!slash so badly from quatredeathlady, I offer you all this:

The first TEN people to comment in this post get to request a fic from me [note: I make no promises about length and no guarantees about quality]. In return, they have to post this in their journal, regardless of their ability level. If you absolutely can't write, I don't see why you wouldn't be able to offer drawings or icons or something instead. I just realized it says this, but for real--y'all don't have to do that. Although, it would be nice maybe!

I don't really think that 10 people will comment, but make ONE request first, and then after a certain time, I'll open up to second requests.

I've written for:
Naruto
Gundam Wing
DOGS

I haven't written, but am willing to write for:
Gurren Lagann
Gundam 00
Final Fantasy VII
Final Fantasy X
NANA
Paradise Kiss
Avatar (The Last Airbender, not Space Gully)
The L Word
Queer as Folk
Xena
Firefly
House
Dexter
White Collar
True Blood
NCIS
If you've seen me talk about something, ask me! I'm open to almost everything.


1) omizu - Naruto (HinaSaku) We Are Still Standing
2) quatredeathlady - Gundam Wing (any pairing, partial 3x4 :D) The Way It Has To Be
3) bluerising - Naruto (Yamato/Sasuke) Ghost
4) mirumototsubasa - FFVII (Reno/Tifa)
5) moderndayportia - Naruto (KakaYama)
6) scaryrei - Naruto (KakaSaku)
7) notraffic - Gundam Wing (DorothyxZechs)
8) leafy_girl - DOGS (Heine/Naoto)
9) redbrunja - Firefly (Inara/Mal)
10) sureasdawn - Naruto (genderswap!Kakashi/Sakura)

BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TO WRITE ALREADY. D: D: D:

The Difference

I walk into the bedroom to find her in front of the full-length mirror with the soft mahogany sides. Gripping the edges, her little moon-shaped fingernail imprints decorate the wood. She leans in close, nose touching the surface, breath fogging the glass.

“Hey, Sunshine,” I greet her. “Whatcha lookin’ at?”

She giggles—she laughs at everything—and turns to me. “My eyes,” she says. She turns back quickly, nose to the mirror again.

I change out of my uniform and pull on a pair of linen pajamas I’ve had since I was nineteen. The holes in the knees are familiar; the cuffs are a few inches too short. I remember that her overalls are also too small—she shot up like a weed—and I turn to her again, but my body is frozen.

She sits quietly, Indian-style, her arms up, exposing her little pot-belly under the Spottie Dottie top we got for her fourth birthday. Her forefingers and thumbs nimbly stretch her beautiful almond eyes open, her dark pupils floating in white circles. Stretched as far as they can go, far from the curved eyes we have called lovely since the day she arrived on the plane with her daddy, her new daddy.

I want to do something. I want to say something. Anything. My mouth, hands, are all grasping for words, coming up empty. She doesn’t understand what she’s doing, or how it’s making my heart feel like it’s stuck in my throat. Her world is Sanrio-colored and full of warmth.

She’s going to start school soon; people will ask her why we look so different. They will ask her why her eyes are so small, and why her brother doesn’t have the same eyes. She will say it like a script; that she has a unique family, that she is adopted from Korea, which is a seventeen-hour plane ride away, that she landed here to be with her family. They will ask her where her real mom and dad are. She will point to my husband and me; no one will believe her.

Some days she will come home crying; I’ll learn along the way that, just like in this moment, I can’t do much of anything but exist, and braid her hair, and pray that one day it won’t hurt as much. She will end up attempting to destroy herself; I’ll blame myself for not doing more, and the fact that she doesn’t believe in God. One day, she will look in the mirror in her own place, on her own time, and in her own way, learn to see herself the way that I see her.

But now, I sit in silence, looking at her, waiting; she’ll grow tired of this soon. We’ll go downstairs, and she’ll put barrettes from the red paisley tin in my hair, and she’ll forget for a moment that my blonde is so different from her black.

Went to my professor's poetry reading tonight from her new book that's out on shelves now.
She was a big influence in inspiring to write again (even talked a bit about fanfic with her from time to time)
I was never really into poetry, and I admit that I think a lot of it is still over my head, but I have a better appreciation for it now because of her.
I wrote this for her class, and is probably the only poem I've written that doesn't make me want to bleach my brain as soon as I read it again. Behind a cut, because it's pretty sexually suggestive. And, you know. The title of it is

( Fisting )

Totally unexpected.
Thanks for everyone who voted for me, and who took the time to vote at all. I love this community. All the entries were fantastic, every single one.

Off to New York! D:
No intranets all weekend, except for phone access.
Take care, my loves.

Title: What is Possible
Author: a_lifestyle
Fandom: Naruto (KakashixSakura)
Rating: PG (A little angsty.)
Words: 1,148
Summary: ( The war is coming to a close, and it is evident that they are not the victors. )

I forgot about the New Year's challenge on the kakasaku community.
Shitshitshit. Oh well. There goes another unfinished fic. D:

Ah, well, now I see there are already 23049823094823 entries, yay! At least I'll most likely enjoy reading my way through them. Good luck to everyone who entered :D.

So *cough* if you haven't heard, I was in attendance at a Lady Gaga concert and basically I think I died about 49 times and was revived each time by the sheer lucid insanity / pure epic nature that is the Gaga. Acoustic Pokerface? Yes, ma'am. Playing piano while standing on the piano bench in ten inch heels in nothing but a leotard and a headpiece? Yes, please. Entering the stage in a red sequined bikini on a revolving, rotating gynecological examining table? I think my life just began. I can't even begin to understand anything that just happened, but I think that was the fun of it. Thank you, Lady Gaga for giving me something perfectly mainstream and REALLY FUCKING WEIRD.

Anyway, because Lady Gaga blew my brains out, managing to write / edit this lastest chapter of GW fic was like pulling teeth. Writing for GW is this weirdly strenuous yet highly rewarding experience when you get it right. The world they live in is so complex and political and interests the fuck out of me--it brings out the hardcore perfectionist in me. It interests me to see how many fans of GW are still milling about. I want to write for Gundam 00 as well, once this current idea runs its course (maybe 1 or 2 more chapters, I keep adding, shitshitshit). Sure, mecha are pretty damn interesting to me (used to have dreams of my own, called it Stegasora, after my fave dinosaur, no joke), but the relationship of the pilots to the citizens to the government to the colonies just knocks me over with its attention to detail and emotional impact. A study of how people react as a mass. Agh, makes me excited! :DDD

Not many people I know are into "mecha" anime, maybe because it's common belief that the shows are usually not as character driven as they are plot driven, but I definitely beg to differ. I remember being very young (ALTHOUGH SOME OF YOU ON MY F-LIST WERE NOT EVEN BORN WHEN GW WAS FIRST AIRED FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF) when I first watched Gundam Wing, and basically all the politics soared over my head and what interested me was the relationship of the pilots to each other and what they believed in, and I think that's what has me attached at the hip to the Gundam franchise.

I mean, what do you consider "mecha" anime? Like, ANY anime with mecha in it, or just certain ones? Some people consider Code Geass a "mecha," but I know others who don't. Same for Ghost in the Shell. Or, some people don't think that TTGL is a mecha anime, but I seriously think the way that they handled the mecha on that show was particularly unique and special to that show. So, because of its importance, would it be considered a "mecha" anime? QUESTIONS. I HAS THEM.

And, it's almost five in the morning and I have to go pick up a U-Haul truck in about five hours. Fandom is making me a crazy person.

And Lady Gaga.

Title: A Purpose for Numbers (2/?)
Author: a_lifestyle
Fandom: Gundam Wing (3x6, 13x6, 1x3, others))
Rating: R (Sexin’, Angstin’, Angsty Sexin’…)
Words: 4,050
Summary: ( If you ask me, there have been only two people I have ever known in my whole life who did nothing but produce one unanswerable question after another. One of them was Heero Yuy. The other was Treize Khushrenada. )

I JUST SAW LADY GAGA OH MY GOD MY HEAD IS OFF MY BODY AND I AM BEYOND RECOVERY AND CLOSE TO DIVINITY HOLY SHIT THAT WILL TAKE ME LIKE A MONTH TO PROCESS.

SADKECXXZC,.CXM SSDLDJ SLDKJ FALSKDJ LASKD.LASM /LDKSDLK LSKJD LKSDLJSL DN SN

SPEECHLESS.

Guys, I'm so...

sick. D:

I know I owe people fic and art, etc, and I'm so, so sorry but I'm sicker than I thought I could ever be, and I'm taking the next three days and sleeping, and hoping that my stomach doesn't fall out of my butt. I'm sorry!!!

D: D: D: